How It Works (Parody)

  1. Step 1 — The Consultation

    Meet with three administrators and one very serious goose. Everyone nods thoughtfully. No decisions are made.

  2. Step 2 — The Paperwork Olympics

    Collect Form A-eh through Form Zed. Each requires the previous form as an attachment, signed by a snowplow.

  3. Step 3 — Reality Check

    You realize this website is parody. You make tea. You call a friend. Maybe you go for a walk. Good call.

Important

This site does not provide services. If you’re in distress or considering self-harm, call or text 988 in the US & Canada for immediate support.